It seems that 2015 is meant to be a somewhat upside down year of new opportunities and challenges.
Office move
When I first found out that my place of employment was moving very far out of my travelling reach, I was stressed. Rumours had been doing the rounds for months, but you kind of hope that it won’t happen too soon and that you would still have more time to sort your life out.
Well, it seems that there is to be no such reprieve and that I’d better start thinking of other things to do, as my company doesn’t offer the option to work from home or flexible working hours.
Why this may be a good thing
After getting over the initial shock, I started reflecting on why this move may actually be a good thing.
- I’ve been working for this company for almost 11 years and I’ve come to realise that for the last while I’ve basically been stuck there for the money. I’ve been feeling that I could do better and I should be doing something else, but I always kept hanging on for the money. It is unfortunately notoriously difficult to find a job that pays a fairly good salary in Cape Town.
- While I’ve started sending out my cv, I’ve also realised that I can actually do anything I want to do. It is a strange feeling of relief mingled with a fear of the unknown. This may be the one chance that I will have to transform my life and to create a lifestyle that will be healthier and more sustainable for my family in the long run. So while I’m applying for jobs, I’m also looking at other opportunities.
- I’m starting to feel a sense of ambition and challenge again. Lately I’ve become too settled in my uncomfortable office chair.
The negatives
There are two main negatives to this situation, namely the possible loss of a stable income and the uncertainty.
Letting go
But something strange has started happening to me over the last few days. I find myself falling in love with the uncertainty and the endless possibilities it offers.
Being somewhat of a control freak, I’ve actually always hated uncertainty. I wanted to plan my life as far as possible, knowing exactly what would happen when, leaving very little room for spontaneity.
However, this year, I’ve decided to let go and see what happens. I will do my best to put things in motion, but it is likely that the outcomes will remain uncertain for a while and I will accept that.
Life’s lessons
I think the loss of my unborn baby a few weeks ago, has put me on this road. This sad event has taught me that you can’t plan everything in life and there is sometimes very little that you can do when things don’t turn out the way you want them to.
But I’ve also learnt that you will come out a stronger person on the other side of the challenge. And then you will go on to create the life that you really want for yourself and your loved ones.
